The Official Friday the 13th Rulebook for Staying Alive

It’s your favorite cursed day again… Friday the 13th has returned. And if you’re reading this, it’s probably already too late for you. But hey, let’s go over the rules anyway—just in case you want to survive until Saturday.

Things You Probably Shouldn’t Do On Friday The 13th

1. Let’s get this one out of the way. Black cat crosses your path? No! Or any cat, for that matter. You should know this.
2. Feel like a camping trip? Just go to the mall instead.
3. I know the weather is warming up, and that rowboat on the foggy lake looks enticing. Don’t do it!
4. Don’t be a camp counselor. If so, think more Meatballs and less Camp Crystal Lake.
5. Stay together. Your girlfriend will split up with you after the summer, but for tonight, you are a team.
6. Never say, “It’s fine, I’m just going to take a look around.” Prepare to meet your maker.
7. Sex isn’t a good idea. You can wait.
8. Drinking and getting high are a huge no-no. Unless you have given up. In that case, smoke them if you got them.
9. Don’t run. The axe-wielding sociopath walks, but somehow gets wherever you are going first. Physics? Nope—Friday the 13th logic.
10. Respect everyone in a mask. Everyone!
11. Don’t be a jock. That letterman’s jacket is basically a bullseye.
12. You hear something in the woods? Leave it there.
13. Falling asleep may sound like a good idea, but it will end with you not waking up.
14. Creepy local guy warning you about going into that house? You can trust him today and only today.

Friday the 13th Rules Recap

Cats are spawned from hell. Camping is bad. Most bodies of water are lethal. You are too old for sleepaway camp anyway. Groups are your friend. Looking around will find nothing you want. Just say no to sex and drugs, today anyway. Running will kill you. Hold people with masks in high regard.  Your athleticism is not to be advertised. Sleeping is your enemy tonight. The creepy neighborhood guy isn’t lying to you.

Wondering when the next Friday the 13th is? Or maybe you are wondering when the next Friday the 13th is through 2050? Find out here.